


Flirting

by addiction1510



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Bad Pick-Up Lines, Dialogue-Only, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-05
Updated: 2015-07-05
Packaged: 2018-04-07 18:45:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4274013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/addiction1510/pseuds/addiction1510
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jasper attempts to seduce Peridot. Needless to say, it doesn't work as expected.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Flirting

“Is there a magnet in your pants?”

“What? Jasper, I don’t understand. Why did you just ask me such an asinine question?”

“Cause I’m attracted to your buns of steel.”

“That… That doesn’t even make sense! I am in no possession of buns of any kind, let alone ones made of steel. What do those even have to do with a magnet in my pants?“

* * *

"Hey, Peri! Are those space pants?”

“No. They are an illusion produced by my gem, as is the rest of my outfit and your own. You are quite aware of this.”

“Your legs are out of this world!”

“…what?”

* * *

“Peridot!”

“What is it now, Jasper?”

“Do you have a map?”

“Why?”

“Because I keep getting lost in your eyes!”

“Go away, I’m trying to work.”

* * *

“Ugh.”

“What do you want now?”

“Is it hot in here, or is it just you?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. The room temperature feels perfectly adequate to me. Perhaps it’s just your physical form overheating.”

* * *

“Peri?”

“Yes?”

“If I told you that you had a great body, would you hold it against me?”

“No, I suppose not. I would say thank you and accept the compliment so I could return to work.”

“Oh my god.”

“What?”

“Nothing, nothing. Just… Ugh. I’m going to go file some reports or something…”

“Alright. Thank you. I’m going to go back to what I was doing now, before you interrupted me again. For the two-hundred-thirty-fifth time since we left for Earth.”

“There’s no way it’s been that many times!”

“I specifically counted them. Each and every one.”

“You’re lying!”

“No. I wanted to see how many bad pickup lines you could come up with.”

“Y-you knew?”

“Not until I saw your search history when I hacked into your console last week.”


End file.
